Chat Thai, Sydney

Can't chat, cramming my face with crispy pork belly stir fried with red curry paste.

Washed down with a durian and sticky rice pudding.

And I'm spent.

Universal, Darlinghurst

Settle down, the world isn’t coming to an end from the sun engulfing the Earth. It’s just the orange glow that radiates from the feature wall at Universal Restaurant. In Darlinghurst, there are no views but it takes full advantage of the quiet courtyard, creating a casual inside outside vibe. Perhaps it’s preparing diners for the bombardment of flavours from the spice queen Christine Mansfield.

Fitness freaks will be happy with the Asian influenced menu that’s a DIY degustation of sorts, moving from light to heavy dishes, ensuring you get your protein and mineral requirements. While the descriptions are straightforward, the dishes are extremely complex. There were so many different flavours in each, beautifully constructed, but I felt it was almost to the point of convolution, a mish mash that didn’t agree in my mouth. Take the kingfish ceviche, the pairing of the roasted and skinned heirloom tomato’s tartness and bitterness and heat from green chilli salsa left the sea flesh behind. Same issue with the wagyu beef shin braised with a heavy green chilli and galangal mix, the garnishing prawn floss, green peppercorns and mint add to the dominating flavours.

Of course there is clarity in others, such as the seared scallops with the never fail truffle foie gras and the delicate jasmine tea smoked duck that retains a subtle, gamey flavour. Desserts have a bit of humour with names like “Bite Me” and the cheap teen booze “Passion Pop”. A more sensible “Raspberry Ripple” is a candied shell tower of vanilla yoghurt cream, raspberries and meringue that’s excellent. You will go “Totally Nuts” indulging in a decadent block of caramel parfait, on top thin dark and milk chocolate sheets sandwich hazelnut chocolate mousse and salted chopped hazelnut caramels.

Perhaps the assault on my senses was too much for me on that night. Admittedly I do prefer simpler flavours, but I can’t say Universal is on my list for a return before the world does end.


2.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? Republic 2 Courtyard, Palmer Street, Darlinghurst, NSW
What? Mains $27, Desserts $18

Thai Thai

Thai Thai, the extra Thai is to make sure you know what cuisine it is. It’s Thai by the way. Befitting of the dodgy side of Botany Road, it’s a dingy, grudgy looking hawker shop, something you might find on the streets of Phuket. Painted in a funky shade of green, filled with Thai postcard pictures and of course respects paid to the revered King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

Unfortunately, from the massaman beef curry sampled, the same respects aren’t paid. Here’s the story. The kitchen is open and with only one couple already eating, I expected my take away to have been attended to immediately. However, it seemed that someone had telephoned an order so the chef came out and started stir frying something green in the wok. Fair enough, mine should be next. 10 minutes later and completion of the cooking, the chef disappears with no signs of any work being put into the massaman. I’m getting a bit agitated. Another 5 minutes later of pottering about, up pops a worker from below the counter and hands me a plastic box. Strange… where did that come from if they didn’t cook it?

I get home, take off the lid and my suspicions confirmed. The top bits where the curry didn’t cover the meat had a darker tinge, as if heated in a microwave. It lacked flavour as well other than being extremely heavy handed on the coconut cream and extremely oily. Which probably lead to my body rejecting the food due to the high fat levels. Or it could have been something more sinister. If only I knew it was going to be like that, I wouldn’t have paid $14 for it.


0.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? 40 Botany Rd, Alexandria, NSW
What? Under $20

Satang Thai

I’m not sure how Satang Thai has escaped sanctions for unsafe work practices. It is very impressive how they manage in the kitchen that’s probably no bigger than your standard stand alone toilet. Subsequently, given the restrictions, the menu is also reasonably limited but means they can focus on quality rather than quantity. This humble hole in the wall with seating for around 20 both inside and out is hugely popular amongst the local student and tourist crowd and there always seems to be a crowd circling around meal time like dogs waiting for their masters to be feed. I can’t say that the thai chilli stir fry I purchased was the best but the time it took to come out indicates that it definitely was freshly cooked. The thousands that have eaten here can’t be wrong though, so I doubt this is an unsafe bet for food.


2.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? 20 Quay St, Haymarket, NSW
What? Under $10

Longrain Sydney

Forgive me if I like my juices unbridled, untainted and certainly not ravished by the evils of alcoholic toxins. So I’m feeling a bit soft and don’t want anything that will have a depressant effect. I’m already feeling down in the dumps. QQ.

Thankfully that warehouse art studio wedge on the Campbell St side of Sydney’s Longrain provides some comfort. Not mention it’s an awesome place to enjoy some damn fine virgin cocktails. A green concoction of fresh mint, pounded limes and a refreshing ginger beer makes a Mule, the Chew sure to catch the eye of the ladies with it’s lychees, raspberries, rose syrup and pink grapefruit. Definitely can’t go past the caramelised pock hocks for a bit of a nibble in a blissful combination of crunchy meat, sweet and spicy.

If only this combination of late night drinks and snacks in a great place to chill out could be replicated throughout Sydney. I’d have less to cry cry about.


3.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? 85 Commonwealth St, Surry Hills, NSW

Slip Inn

Oh how I wish I was an elegant brunette from Tasmania with an extremely refined Australian accent. Perhaps then I might find happiness. Though as luck would have it, I’m doubtful that I’ll ever have a chance meeting with a Prince at Slip Inn. I can only dream.

Yes, Slip Inn is the famous bar where Mary and Freddy met during the Sydney Olympics. Or so I’m told. Of all the Merivale owned places, this is one the few I won’t boycott. A relaxed atmosphere, with plenty of mini stools and tables, couches, a few arcade machines and an even better beer garden downstairs, one of the best places to chill if you can find space on a hot day. Meal times provide more than enough options, a Western menu of the usual pub favourites including a beefy nachos, beef burger and chips, steak sanga, and Caesar salad. Jumping on the Thai bandwagon and exploiting Sydney’s love affair with the South East Asian cuisine, find average cashew nut chicken, a weak red curry, overly sweet pad thai along with other typical dishes.

That said, you might not find a prince charming here, or the food too charming, but happiness can be found at the bottom of a tall, cold schooner of beer under the summer sun.


2.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? 111 Sussex St, Sydney, NSW

Saap Thai

Saap Thai, an established city eatery, a top 10 choice amongst the cost conscious and student crowd looking for a quick feed. There’s a Franklins feel to the place with its squeaky clean and inoffensively fitted slender shop. All the Thai regulars are here so with no surprises. The flavours don’t have the depth churned out by other Thai places located within a whips crack but no complaints, it is no frills after all.

2 / 5 yums!
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Where? 378 Pitt St, Sydney, NSW
What? Most under $12

Asian Night Noodle Market

It’s that time of the year again. No not when the ladies attempt to destroy the doors on the Lonsdale Street entrance of the Melbourne CBD Myer at the crack of dawn for the boxing day bargains or when the blokes decide to clear out the underwear drawer of garments which have lost their elasticity to be retired as grease cleaners for engine parts. It’s Sydney’s October Good Food Month and one of its most popular events, the Asian Night Noodle Market held in Hyde Park’s North. With every year, the setting becomes more and more spectacular, with streams of red paper lanterns lining the air above, colour changing globe light features and the hypnotic lounge music. With booze available and plastic chairs to make oneself comfortable, or the patches of grass in the surrounds, make it a night out under the stars with some grub from the south east. It might not quite be hawker style or hawker quality, but there are plenty of choices as the stalls do their best with their hands tied due to equipment restrictions. With almost every country covered, you’ll either have to have a number of stomachs equal to a cow to sample them all or return on other nights.

2.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? Hyde Park North, Sydney, NSW
What? Dishes under $10





Left to Right : Char Kuay Teow, Chicken Satay, Satay Sauce, Mussels, Salt and Pepper Soft Shell Crab

I Thai

I hate to get cheated on. Wait wait… let me try that again, because it deserves to be underlined and in capitals. I HATE to get cheated. I hate it like I hate dodgy bankers in Monopoly by instead of going directly to jail and not passing go and collecting $200, as landing on the square clearly states, they would give themselves $500, not to mention mysterious extra hotels popping up on Mayfair when they clearly don’t own the property.

Speaking of royal blue, I Thai is on the prime location that is Kings Street Wharf. But like a majority of its fellow neighbours situated at the gorgeous harbour side, it may be on 400 pound real estate but has Old Kent Road quality (see Cargo Bar). Tacky bamboo and rice paper oriental umbrellas leave me confused as to whether one is dining in the land of Ling Ling, Saigon or Kyoto.

Continuing to perplex is the exorbitant price charged for a banquet of food court food. Entrée consisted of a spring roll which was more than a Chance that it was frozen, an overly baked dry chicken drumstick or wing, and a fried battered prawn. The only thing Thai about the course was the sweet chilli condiment. Stingily rationed between four, more of that sweet chilli is found in basil stir fried beef with vegetables, a no muscles weak water works green curry chicken, “salt and pepper” calamari (note the quotation marks for sarcastic effect) and “haven’t I seen those vegetables before?” vegetable stir fry in a sweetish fish sauce.

Pop into I Thai to feel like the loser to a player with the unfair help of Moneybags if you that’s what you’re into.

1 / 5 yums!
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Where? 19 Lime Street, Sydney, NSW
What? Basic Banquet $40

Chat Thai

If Chat Thai were a woman, and I mean a real woman, she would be Angelina Jolie as Mrs Smith. A golden blend of dark, mysteriously sexy, ultra stylish, and ooooo so delicious. Cosy as the power couple became during and after the movie, the brick walls, dim mood lighting, large contemporary canvases, traditional Thai water holders, furniture from a faded era mixed with bentwood chairs give the place character. Well thought out and considered, the kind of effort you’d exert to adopt a Cambodian child. The queues for this place just as long so take a ticket and get in line.

Speaking of effort in producing a super child, superb food exits the kitchen though for the chefs probably nowhere near as pleasurable performing the processes the two went through (but who knows, whatever floats their boat) and a hell of a lot faster (unless Brad has anxiety issues). Instead of a cold bucket of water to snap one out of these thoughts, try Orileng, traditional thai black coffee or the heavily reduced caffeine Cha Dum Yen sweetened iced red tea.

The “no fanks Turkish… I’m sweet enough” Pad Thai is Girl, Interrupted quality without the over the top Lisa Rowe tendencies. The honest stir fry of rice noodles, peanuts, garlic chives, bean shoots, egg, sweetened ever so slightly by a bit of honey, so frequently ruined by Western bastardisation, has won me over. Gaeng Keaw Gai, chicken green curry made with galangal, kaffir limes lemongrass is lovingly cooked, so aromatic with an unexpectedly distinct lime kick at the end that so many green curries tried before have lacked. Yes Mrs Smith... I have been a naughty boy. Taking on a Jolie persona, Mu Pad Prik Khing is smoking as the dominatrix in the black latex corset and CFM boots: pork loin mince stir fried in a paste of roasted chilli, galangal, with green beans and fresh chilli gives the tongue and month and all mighty whipping. Continuing the flavour pleasure, Bpla Choo Chee, the snapper in a deeply rich red curry made from you guessed it, galangal, kaffir limes, lemongrass, palm sugar, garlic and chilli, explodes in the eating orifice like a fighting married couple with access to an excess of firearms and weren’t afraid to use them.

The final phase is a happy ending in the form of Lodt Shong Singapore, that is coconut milk with pandan flavoured balls of glutinous rice. Also taste the fresh mango and a sticky, glutinous coconut rice that’s probably taken all the fat from Jolie’s thighs.

Chat Thai truly have their act together, having refined the art of great food at a great venue. Bradgelina would be proud.

3.5 / 5 yums!
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Where? 20 Campbell St, Haymarket, NSW
What? Mains most under $12









Left to Right : Orileng, Cha Dum Yen, Pad Thai, Gaeng Kea Gai, Mu Pad Prik Khing, Bpla Choo Chee, Mango Glutinous Rice, Lodt Shong Singapore